Experiencing Difficulties

Nearly 30 years ago, my family moved from California to Utah, and into a lovely rambler home that was newly built and ready for us to move into. Well, almost ready. There was a problem in the kitchen, an inconvenience really. The stove and oven didn't work. Or they weren't there yet...I don't remember the exact circumstances, just that for a few weeks, we (meaning my Mom) didn't have them to cook with.

This was before microwaves and outdoor gas grills and the option of eating out was unheard of. My Mom cooked everything for every meal in an electric skillet, plugged into the wall and sitting on the counter. The skillet was on the counter, Mom was standing. She probably used the crock pot too.

She made grilled cheese sandwiches and one dish meals, pairing them with cut up apples and salads. I even remember her making those chocolate-oatmeal no bake cookies, boiling and stirring them in the skillet, and dropping them onto waxed paper to cool. Now that's resourcefulness - no oven to bake cookies...no problem, Mom had a recipe for boiled cookies.

If I were to have to go without my stove top and oven for a week or so, it probably wouldn't seem like that much of a big deal. I have my trusty microwave, my crock pot, the grill, the griddle, the value-menu at every drive-thru. We would be just fine. I wouldn't be making no-bake cookies to keep my family's spirits up - I'm not even sure if the family would notice if the oven went out. I'm into crock pot cooking lately.

Last week, however, we did have an appliance stop working - and we all knew about it. And have suffered.

How long can you go without one?


Of course it happened while Troy was gone. And being the delicate flower of a woman that I am, I don't like messing with things that look like this:

Or this:

The water heater wasn't cracked or leaking. It seemed to just be a problem with the pilot light staying lit. Which sounds a whole lot cheaper than having to replace the thing.



Re-lighting the pilot light. How hard could it be? I sat down to read the warnings and instructions, reading and reading, and reading again. I did NOT want to be an article in the newspaper. But I also wasn't too keen on taking a cold shower in the morning. How would it sound to miss work because you don't have any hot water?


I followed the instructions precisely, and no flame. Cold shower it was. Well, not exactly a shower - I knelt by the side of the tub and ducked my head under the faucet. The rest of me got a sponge bath and I called it good enough. Troy would be home in the morning and it would all magically become his problem.


Troy always hates it when he's gone and things aren't working right. So he sent his brother over to mess with it. Say hi to Kendall.

He's a handy sort of guy to have around.

He gave it his all.

But no luck. Thanks for trying, Kendall.


I called a place that knew about water heaters and they said they could send a guy over on Friday afternoon, between 2 and 4. That was fine - I don't work on Fridays and don't need to wash my hair. Or take a sponge bath.



Now the problem was this:

And this.

Also

And

Funny how the laundry multiplies so fast.


Yes, I know I could have boiled water and done dishes by hand. Cameron said that if I did that, I should dress up like a pioneer. Instead, I emptied the dishwasher and just got them off the counter and out of the sink. Immediate problem solved.

At 5:30 on Friday, the boy who knows about water heaters showed up. (How could he really know what to do? He didn't even know that his pants are supposed to be be pulled up over his buttocks and covering his underwear.) He got down on the floor, and without reading any of the instructions or warning labels, started punching reset buttons and automatic ignition switches. I know for a fact that you are only supposed to push on the ignition thingy up to four times in a row before stopping and returning to step two, which involves rereading the instructions, waiting ten minutes, eating a piece of chocolate, and then trying again. The boy must have punched that thing 50 times while I waited for the whole thing to blow up.

It would have looked like this:

But it lit. And stayed lit. Nice boy, even with his low hanging jeans - didn't charge us for this house call to light the pilot light.

I did the dishes and all of the laundry, we all took showers, and then it went out. Now it's the middle of the weekend. Troy was able to relight the thing and keep us in hot water for about a day and a half, before it went out again - permanently. More icy hair washing would be taking place.

I called Whirlpool to talk about my warranty (6 years. And the water heater is only two years old! Yeah, Baby!), and wound up talking to Rosa in India. She was sympathetic, in a scripted sort of way, and kept assuring me that she was "sorry I was experiencing these difficulties," and that she would "be able to send me the thermonuclear trans-whirligig right away and that after we installed it, we would no longer be experiencing those difficulties".

"How long will it take it get here?" I asked, imagining myself and the boys showering at the gym.

"It will take seven to ten working business days before it will arrive and you will no longer be experiencing difficulties."

"I can't wait that long - I don't have any HOT WATER! Isn't there a place locally that has this thing?"

"No, Ma'am, I'm sorry. It is the new and improved thingamacurrybop and we have to ship it to you. I can overnight it to you, but you will have to pay for it. I guarantee that it will stop your difficulties tomorrow."

My voice became a little bit shrill, and I used words like "insane" and "outrageous". There would be no charming of computerized-response Rosa to get out of this. So I paid her overnight shipping charge, and listened to her assure me again of my soon-to-end difficulties. I think "difficulties" was the word of the day at Whirlpool, India Division. I bet she said it a dozen times.

It did not escape me that I was complaining about my lack of running, instant, hot water to someone who lived in India. Like I said, I'm just a delicate flower of a woman. She's got her problems, I've got mine.

Okay, fine...in the broader scope of life difficulties, hers are bigger.

A box from Tennessee arrived this morning with the new and improved, gas-o-matic flux capacitor. Troy was in town long enough to install it (perfect timing, Babe), and, true to Rosa's word, I am not experiencing those difficulties any longer.

Dishes are done, laundry is in the works, and I'm looking forward to a HOT shower in the morning. Aaaaah, hot water, running from the faucets.

What appliance could you just not do without?