Seriously, I think I'm romantically challenged. Don't get me wrong - Troy is not the problem - if anything, he is the more romantic of the two of us. I wrote about all the cards and the love letter or two that I found when I was cleaning out my underwear drawer. Troy loves to give cards that ooze with passion and romance, penned by the very best card makers at Hallmark. He always adds his own sentiment.
Cards like this:
With things like this, written on the inside:
Aaaaawwww.... I am loved. I really, really am, and I know that Troy spends a lot of time looking for these perfect cards. Imagine me holding my thumb and forefinger up, about 3 1/2 inches apart, when I say that I have a stack of cards like this, this high.
Last Valentine's Day, I very kindly told Troy that while I loved his cards and the beautiful words, how about if he looked for a funny card instead. Ungrateful, undeserving, picky woman? Probably...but this woman also knows the romantic value of a good laugh.
Laugh with me, show me that twinkle in your eyes, kiss me until the boys squeal and pull you away from me, give me a wink. Now I'm feeling romantic.
What else holds romantic value for me? This sign in my kitchen says it all:
Now ain't that the truth? Seriously, I feel loved when Troy pitches in around the house. Which he does do, fairly often.
I feel loved when Troy watches Dancing with the Stars with me and rubs my feet. He never complains - about the show or about my feet.
I feel loved when Troy stops whatever he might be doing to go get me something...Cafe Rio, for instance. That whole "my wish is his command" kind of thing.
I feel a rush of love for Troy when we go out with friends and we have a really good time. I like seeing him enjoy himself.
I love Troy when he spends time with the boys. He's a really good Dad.
I love Troy when he rushes to my side after a really scary car accident. Or a colonoscopy.
I know that Troy loves me because he puts up with me, and I put up with him.
Is this romance? Or are we pathetic? Is loving and being loved the same thing as romance? When you think of "romance", shouldn't it be about flowers and love notes, and petals on the bed, sipping Martinelli's and feeding each other chocolates, whispering sweet words and hearts skipping a beat as the passion envelopes the room?
I think the years and the ins and outs of regular old life have taken their toll.
When Troy brings me flowers, I cringe at the cost, the love notes sit in my underwear drawer, we have laundry, waiting to be folded, on the bed, our fancy glasses are broken, I don't share my chocolate, and sometimes, foul smells envelope the room.
But we have love. And we laugh. Does this count as romance?
What do I tell this young woman, wanting to know of my most romantic event?
"Well, this one time, I came home from doing the grocery shopping, and Troy had done the dishes and switched over the laundry! That's when I knew it was true love."
I think I'd better make up something about our first kiss. I know it was romantic - it had to be...I just don't remember very much about it.
What about you?
Do you have romance in your life?
What makes your heart skip a beat?
11 comments:
Oh Wendy, I was just thinking about this same idea recently. I am like you in that what really makes me feel "romantic" is when Dan does something helpful. Though for some silly reason my heart did skip a beat last night when he told me he remembers what I wore when "blind reality" played for the first time at Johnny B's! Haha, the blind reality days!
Oh,I think you need to give this girl the web address for your blog and let her read what you wrote. It doesn't get more romantic than that. Also tell her to read your tribute to Troy on his birthday and your anniversary. I think she'll get a lot out of that.
My heart skips a beat for just the ordinary things that Paul does that show he cares. I know he always loves me, but I know he really cares when he takes the kids on an activity where they will have fun, so that I can study or get a nap before going to work. I know he cares when I come home and he's already got dinner started and he tells me to get whatever I need to done and he'll call me for dinner. I know he cares when I open my drawer and find clean clothes folded and put there without my ever asking for help in that dept. THAT is romance.
Let her know that for all of us "old married ladies" the giving of self is the most romantic thing a couple can do for each other.
Hi, Wendy. I recently found your blog through Nora's and Marisa's and I must say I love your breath of fresh air. This entry was great!! Give me a kiss with a squealing-kid soundtrack any day! Such a picture is the way I think of my parents. My dad always caught my mom in a hug next to the kitchen sink as soon as he came home from work. (Yes, she was perpetually there.) "What's the matter, kids? Does it embarrass you when I kiss your mother?" he'd say with a sly smile. And then he'd kiss her just to spite us. :)
Makes me think of how my own kids will know that I love their dad.
Glad you're doing well. I can't believe it's been two years since I left the ward. Take care!
Jennifer Hatch
I think that I am just to practical for romance. Russ and I often say that we would like to be romantic, but the comedy routine just gets in the way. Maybe our idea of romance is just skewed by fancy couples doing fancy things. Real life just isn't romantic. Russ and I celebrated our 10th anniversary this summer. We thought we should celebrate big. Not for the sake of romance, but because we had been able to put up with each other for a whole decade. (We ended up going out to dinner and eating ourselves sick. Felt good to be able to do that with a date.) But when it comes down to it I know how much he loves me. I knew it, when my dad died. When we cried together the 3rd time his mom had cancer. I know it when he cleans up or makes dinner because he knows I am tired, or when laundry that is piled up is magically folded and put away. I think that romance fades. (And I am glad it does because I think it would take far to much energy to be romantic all the time.) But true love, that survives mundane tasks, bad smells, bills, good times, and hard times really does conquer all.
Now, I'm not married nor in a relationship so you can take this all with a grain of salt if you wish.
I'm not sure that romance is only what movies make it out to be (ie: flowers, serenades, etc.). Romance is how you and your partner speak each other's love language, whether that be acts of service (mine!), gift giving, quality time, physical touch or words of affirmation.
Ultimately, to me, romance is having someone make the effort to speak my language even if it's not theirs.
Here's a link to the Love Language book (http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/)in case you want to read more about it...I HIGHLY recommend it. There is even a book on learning your children's love language that my parents taught a class on once, darn good stuff man!
This has definitely sparked some feelings - thanks for all the comments!
Elise, he remembers what you were wearing?!!! I don't think that's silly that it made your heart skip.
Future RN: Nothing sexier than a man doing laundry. Or dishes. Or vacuuming.
Raimee: You said it perfectly! Romance can fade, but true love is what lasts!
And Pinklady! Good to see you here, outside of Movie Quote Monday. I love love love the Five Love Language books! My Mom has gotten both the couples and the kids books for me. I wondered if anyone would mention this - a bunch of people in my neighborhood are reading this in a book club right now. I can totally see how the whole 5 languages applies to me, my kids, and my husband. great books!
Jennifer! You get a separate comment and a welcome. Good to have you here - has it really been two years? Time goes by so quickly!! Yes, we like to tease the kids by kissing in front of them. I also like to dance and sing for them, but then they just leave the room. Pretty sure their eyes are rolling.
Glad you found the blog. Come back often!
Hi Hi girls, My Brent is not the romantic type, but he is the BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD. He does millions of little things for me daily. And he is my BEST FRIEND.
He does the dishes and laudry and vacuums, takes out the garbage, cleans the litter box, fixes anything broken and he just makes life wonderful.
He is a great father and does so much for other people. I am grateful he is mine for eternity.
Now that I think about it, HE is romantic. And aren't we all blessed to have these guys in our lives.
Hi Jennifer, I haven't seen you for about 5 years hope you are all doing well. Angi F.
I have been thinking of what to write...yes...I've had "romantic moments" with my husband.
BUT, I LOVED what future rn wrote! She hit it right on the head!
"Giving of the self is the most romantic thing a couple can do for each other."
I love this! I think I'm going to hang this quote in my house!
Hi Jennifer!!!! I have missed you! Tell Jeff that Bri says hi!
I have thought about this all day! When Jared came home tonight (with the new Radiohead CD) he turned it on, came over to the couch and put his arm around me. We sat and listened and it was very "romantic." Not by your YW standards for sure, but it was so nice!
Angi and Ashley: Your husbands both sound like "keepers"!
Suz: You said you've had romantic moments - but no details! Did you just not want to make me feel bad with all your romantic hottness?
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