I got an email this morning from a young woman in my ward, asking me to answer a question for an essay that she was writing for school. The class was Marriage and Family, and the question was about romance. I needed to tell about the most romantic event in my life and explain why it was so romantic. Huh? Romance? Oh, dear, now where did I put that romance...?
Seriously, I think I'm romantically challenged. Don't get me wrong - Troy is not the problem - if anything, he is the more romantic of the two of us. I wrote about all the cards and the love letter or two that I
found when I was cleaning out my underwear drawer. Troy loves to give cards that ooze with passion and romance, penned by the very best card makers at Hallmark. He always adds his own sentiment.
Cards like this:

With things like this, written on the inside:

Aaaaawwww.... I am loved. I really, really am, and I know that Troy spends a lot of time looking for these
perfect cards. Imagine me holding my thumb and forefinger up, about 3 1/2 inches apart, when I say that I have a stack of cards like this, this high.
Last Valentine's Day, I very kindly told Troy that while I loved his cards and the beautiful words, how about if he looked for a funny card instead. Ungrateful, undeserving, picky woman? Probably...but this woman also knows the romantic value of a good laugh.
Laugh with me, show me that twinkle in your eyes, kiss me until the boys squeal and pull you away from me, give me a wink. Now I'm feeling romantic.
What else holds romantic value for me? This sign in my kitchen says it all:
Now ain't that the truth? Seriously, I feel loved when Troy pitches in around the house. Which he does do, fairly often.
I feel loved when Troy watches Dancing with the Stars with me and rubs my feet. He never complains - about the show or about my feet.
I feel loved when Troy stops whatever he might be doing to go get me something...Cafe Rio, for instance. That whole "my wish is his command" kind of thing.
I feel a rush of love for Troy when we go out with friends and we have a really good time. I like seeing him enjoy himself.
I love Troy when he spends time with the boys. He's a really good Dad.
I love Troy when he rushes to my side after a really scary car accident. Or a colonoscopy.
I know that Troy loves me because he puts up with me, and I put up with him.
Is this romance? Or are we pathetic? Is loving and being loved the same thing as romance? When you think of "romance", shouldn't it be about flowers and love notes, and petals on the bed, sipping Martinelli's and feeding each other chocolates, whispering sweet words and hearts skipping a beat as the passion envelopes the room?
I think the years and the ins and outs of regular old life have taken their toll.
When Troy brings me flowers, I cringe at the cost, the love notes sit in my underwear drawer, we have laundry, waiting to be folded, on the bed, our fancy glasses are broken, I don't share my chocolate, and sometimes, foul smells envelope the room.
But we have love. And we laugh. Does this count as romance?
What do I tell this young woman, wanting to know of my most romantic event?
"Well, this one time, I came home from doing the grocery shopping, and Troy had done the dishes and switched over the laundry! That's when I knew it was true love."
I think I'd better make up something about our first kiss. I know it was romantic - it had to be...I just don't remember very much about it.
What about you?
Do you have romance in your life?
What makes your heart skip a beat?