Back to School

It feels like summer is over for me - I went back to work last week after having all of June and July off. For the past three years, I've worked at my kid's school as a reading aide. When I think of the perks that come with this job, I couldn't ask for anything better. I really do enjoy it. I love the people I work with and the teachers that I get to know, and I love being so close to the action as far as my boys are concerned. I really love that it's just 3 hours in the morning, Monday - Thursday.

I work mainly in kindergarten, first and second grades - helping the kids that are just below grade level, to hopefully catch up by the end of the year. Kindergarten is a little different - the kids start out on such vastly different levels. We work with kids that can't even hold a pencil or identify any letters in their name, to a few that are reading past a 2nd grade level, and everything in between. So really, it's just in first and second grade that we're working only with the kids that need to catch up with the rest of the class. We don't do anything with the kids in resource.

At the end of the last school year, I got all melancholy about saying goodbye to the kids that I'd been with for the whole year. Had I been the little extra thing that they needed? Was I as kind to them as I could have been? Was I a bright spot in their day? Did I make them feel good about themselves and their accomplishments? Oh, I hope so.

There were a few kids from last year that drove me nuts, but even they kind of grew on me by the end. And then there were some that I absolutely cannot wait to see this year. We had so much fun together, and they were truly glad to see me every day. Hugs and happy waves and high fives were an everyday occurrence. Who wouldn't love these kids - they were funny and bright, respectful and kind. Good kids. There were others too, a little more rough around the edges, but they'd soon open up and tell me the stories of what was happening at home, and I tried to make sure they got some extra hugs and that they knew that I thought they were terrific. Amazing kids.

So I enjoy my little world down in the lower grades, where the kids, for the most part, are still fearful of adults, they don't backtalk, and one look will quiet them. I'll take the lower grades any day - except Friday. That's my day off.

At the beginning of year, the teachers are doing testing of some sort and the aides have been filling in as substitutes. So far, I've been with a 3rd grade class and two 5th grade classes. The third grade was awesome. Well behaved and they treated me well - granted, most of them knew me from the second grade. There was one little girl, the teacher told me, who arrived from Mexico 24 hours before the first day of school. She didn't speak a word of English. Can you imagine how scary? Well, another little 8 year girl was acting as her translator, sitting by her, whispering instruction, guiding her every step of the way. I was so impressed, and wondered briefly if the school district should be paying her! Anyway, they were all good, did their work and let me read to them - which is all I really want to do as a sub. Just let me read out loud to them for three hours. I do character voices.

But the 5th grade. The horror. Seriously, I walked away from this class today, knowing that if this was my regular gig, I'd have quit long ago. The kids were sneaky and sarcastic, obnoxious, rude, and downright mean to each other and me. Yes, there were a few sweet, friendly kids, but who has time to notice them, when the others suck all the attention.

Kids were lifting their desks off the ground and dropping them, giving me snotty answers when I'd ask where something was, and ignoring any instruction I gave. It was the stereotype of the class being mean to the sub, brought to life.

We had a fire drill: I knew it was fake, and they knew it was fake, but there was still a protocol to follow. They had to line up and I was supposed to take roll. So I'm calling out names, it was windy, noisy, and no one is really even listening to me. I keep shouting names and I hear "Here", so I keep going down the list. After about half a dozen names I realize that one obnoxious kid is trying to trick me, and he's saying "here" in a variety of voices. The rest of the class is going along with this. I walk over to him and point my finger right into his nose and snarl (in my very best devil's voice) "Don't you mess with me".

He was John Bender and I was the principal from the Breakfast Club. I was on to him and he was not going to mess up my fire drill.

All students accounted for and we go back in the class. I'm trying to give a spelling pre-test and suddenly one boy stands up and start dragging a great big garbage can over to his desk.

"What are you doing with the garbage can?"

"It's not a garbage can. It's for the balls and stuff. It's my job."

"Go sit down. We're doing spelling right now. Put it back."

He sits down, but leaves the can in the middle of the classroom. I repeat words 6, 7, and 14, for kids that had tuned me out. Another boy gets out of his desk and is studying something on the other side of the room. He's been a problem all morning, so I march him back and tell him to stay put. The girl next to him is laughing loudly, and when I ask her what she's laughing about, she says,

"You. You're so dumb that you thought that was a garbage can."

Seriously. She's ten. I could have slapped her.

I bent down, hissed in her ear, "Young lady, you need to stop being so rude and disrespectful."

Oh, I am so not cut out to work with older grades! I hated that they treated me this way and that I couldn't win them over with smiles and kind words. I hated that they were making me crazy. Where were my cute little first graders? And the worst thought of all - would they turn into obnoxious 5th graders too?

At the risk of sounding like an old lady, what is wrong with kids these days?

The teacher returned and I simply said they were a rough class and then pointed out the one very helpful girl, so that she could get her star or whatever little positive reinforcement game the school is playing. Useless. The good kids will be good no matter what. The others? The promise of a candy bar or a can of pop at the end of the week for good behavior (yes, that's the positive reinforcement) isn't enough to make them comply. These kids don't see any need to be respectful or kind, even to adults.

So it was a discouraging day at school. Can't wait to start with my regular classes, with the hugs and smiles, and feeling like I'm helping to make a difference.