About six years ago, I learned about a cousin (my same age) who had a form of colon cancer called Familial Polyposis. At age 32, she had her entire colon removed, and will be living for the rest of her days with a colostomy bag. This particular form of cancer is very aggressive and high up on the hereditary scale. My sister and I were advised to get checked, pronto. I had a colonoscopy then, and even though I was fine, I'm supposed to have them every 5-6 years. It was time.
At 6pm, it was time to start the cleansing portion of our program.
Maybe it won't be so bad. Cheers!
Oh, sweet mother of all things nasty. It's bad...it's bad!!!!
Forget what I said about high fructose corn syrup. THIS is from the devil's lab.
Give me something to rinse my mouth out with!
Thursday was the prep day for my colonoscopy. That means no eating, just drinking, and a powerful laxative to clean things out. And I mean powerful. I just called it my excuse to be Miss Crankypants. Several times during the day I started to say something or other to Troy and then quickly waved the words out of the air, with a
"Don't listen to me...I'm just hungry."
The instructions for the day were pretty basic:
- clear liquids only - water, Gatorade, apple juice, other juices that are free of any artificial colors, soft drinks, beef and chicken broth, jello, Popsicles.
- milk, tomato and vegetable juices, and any pulpy juices are NOT clear. So don't even think about having a nice bowl of Campbell's Tomato soup.
- no red or purple dyes - apparently these will stain my insides.
- alternate water with everything else, and drink a big glass every hour.
- buy the Fleet Phospho-Soda laxative - that's where the fun really starts!
So I went to the store and bought my food supply for the day. Threw in some wipes to go with the premium brand of toilet paper that I already had. You know why.
How's that for a yummy and satisfying menu?
I'm not a huge juice or pop drinker. And I like my broth with mmmmmmm......food. It's going to be a long day.
All of the yummy sounding juices (white grape strawberry cocktail, cran-raspberry, etc) were full of red dyes and high fructose corn syrup, which apparently was created in the chemistry lab of the devil. I wanted to avoid that mess, but I figured that I would need the electrolytes in the Powerade - 2nd ingredient: high fructose corn syrup. Oh well.
The Fresca is for mixing with the Phospho-Soda, which tastes sort of like super salty 7-Up. I may never be able to drink Fresca again, which is a shame. I like Fresca.
All the juices are really sweet, so I made sure to use a heavy hand with the salt shaker when I heated up my broth. I prefer the beef over the chicken.
This was lunch.
With pinky entended and a straw, it almost tastes...nope, not even close.
At 6pm, it was time to start the cleansing portion of our program.
Maybe it won't be so bad. Cheers!
Oh, sweet mother of all things nasty. It's bad...it's bad!!!!
Forget what I said about high fructose corn syrup. THIS is from the devil's lab.
Give me something to rinse my mouth out with!
Repeat, 2 more times in the evening, and 3 times in the morning. Keep drinking other stuff - don't get dehydrated. Stay close to a bathroom. And buy flushable wipes next time.
It will be worth the extra money. I promise.
6 comments:
Oh Wendy, I'm so sorry! What a horrible experience...all of it: no food, not even good drinks and then THE LAXATIVE!! I hope you are all clean and sparkly inside and that your tests come out well!! You're a brave gal!!
You made up for lack of toe polish by wearing NICE jewelry for these pics. Well done.
Did you say anything inapropriate under anesthesia ?
Did loose lips sink your ship ?
Just Kidding- Take it easy this weekend-wear something absorbent for your tennis match. Love YA
When I schedule these for people I always tell them the prep is worse than the procedure. I hope that's true, cuz the prep looks BAD!
Oh that look on your face is priceless! Hahaha!
I hope it went well, and you're now eating something solid.
p.s. My new neighbor across the street has a beautiful Chow Chow.
I started crying. He reminded me of Jeff.
I am so behind on my blogs that I'll start commenting on this one. Your "menu" today sounds just like what I had to eat the whole time I was in the hospital for my hysterectomy. It was AWFUL!! I hate fruit juice and Tea AND jello. My breakfast, lunch and dinners were as follows: juice, tea, broth, jello. yum. I could have at least tolerated the broth, but it wasn't broth. I was colored water I swear. It was sickening. finally the night before I left when the DR came in I told him that I may not look like it, but i was STARVING. He looked shocked and said the nurse should have been feeding me regular food all day. I was so mad. This was the day I had this weird nurse who practiced in South Africa half the year. She wouldn't let me have my good pills only tylenol. The Dr was so pissed at her. Sorry, this blog was about you and I've made it about me.
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