About two hours after the unwrapping and breakfast were over, Cameron sat down next to me and said tentatively,
"I'm bored..."
Excuse me? EXCUSE ME??????
This was from the kid who not long ago looked like this:
And this:
Looks like happiness on Christmas morning to me.
How could he possibly be bored? I dug deeper.
Apparently, there had not been a "big" gift along with the smaller gifts under the tree this year. In some years past, we've had a large gift - like the xbox, or last year it was the Nintendo DS lites and some accompanying games. He couldn't really think of any large gift that he wanted though. Was he disappointed that he didn't get a new gaming system? Not really...Grandma and Grandpa already have the Wii, and he's more into PC games ( Warcrack ).
Also, he "didn't really get what he wanted", though he absolutely could not name anything in particular that he would have liked instead.
And the cinnamon rolls had cream cheese frosting which ruined them.
And there hadn't really been any surprises...
And it was over so fast...
And, and...
By now the tears were flowing freely down his freckled cheeks. My first reaction was irritation, bordering on anger, and I began to plan an outing to a homeless shelter for this ungrateful boy.
He'd had a fabulous Christmas!!! The Warcraft Expansion Pack, Star Wars Legos and a Bionicle, two CDs, big army men and vehicle set that he had begged for, a scooter and how could he forget:
He also received a hoodie and pants and a beanie that he loves and won't take off.
What was going on?
We have closets and drawers full of toys that are not played with, movies that aren't watched, and the DS Lites from last year that only get played with every few months. Cameron is not lacking in things to do, he has not been deprived or made to do without. I'd say his life is pretty well charmed, wouldn't you?
Troy and I had gone over this endlessly, and the boys knew all along that Oliver was the big gift this year. I also knew that if we had splurged on a new gaming system (which Troy wanted to do) and had not gotten all the smaller gifts, he would have been upset about that. How big, how extreme, how superfantabulous does a Christmas have to be so that your kids aren't disappointed???
And then it hit me - a possible reason for all this drama. Cameron is growing up. There will never be another Christmas like the ones when he was little and everything was magical and $50 could buy his wildest dreams, and when the opening was over he'd collapse in a worn out heap. The kind of excitement over Santa that makes it impossible to sleep is gone. He's left with the "Is that all there is?" kind of feeling, that no amount of gifts can satisfy. The anticipation and the hype is finally bigger than the reality.
No wonder there were tears. I wasn't irritated any more, in fact I felt pretty bad for him. He didn't know how to put words to the awful, kind-of-empty feeling inside of him, and the only thing that made any sense was that he possibly didn't receive enough.
His tears dried and he felt bad that he'd made me feel bad (another sign of growing up), and then he and Troy got down to the business of the Expansion Pack. His smiles are back and he's played with his things -- the empty feeling went away. Oliver remains a very big deal around here.
Face it, the older you get, does anything really live up to the hype?
Who hasn't felt a little letdown after Christmas or Thanksgiving? Sure the tree or the table looked beautiful, but now there's the cleanup. And all that planning and preparation!
The movie wasn't that great...I could've waited for the dvd.
The wedding is over - now we have marriage.
Wedding night? Please.
Best vacation in the world - you still have to come home.
Does that make me sound like a glass half empty kind of person? I'm not, really, just thinking about Cameron and his first Christmas as a non-believer. It was kind of a hard day for him. The Letdown was tough.
The thought occurs to me (so how fortunate that I have a blog!!!), there is something that lives up to the hype - serving others, giving gifts, helping people. No letdown there. I need to teach my boys to serve others, to experience that kind of feeling.
Any thoughts?
What has been a letdown for you...and what has not?
9 comments:
This is Dan...
I can feel Cameron's pain. Sometimes the anticipation of something is actually greater than the something. I remember growing up I was so excited for some video games reading reviews about them etc., and then when I actually got it the game was somewhat of a letdown because I was expecting so much.
I feel your pain. This year was a interesting on in my home as well. The question was what do you give two almost grown young men.
I passed the toy section and told Tom "Xmas was so much easier when they were young. Can't we just buy them a hot wheels and call it good?" I listened to Kevin list his wants all the way down to his surgery. The starting figure began around $350. Financially the gaming systems weren't going to happen. We admitted xmas day that if we had bought it.. that was all there would have been. Instead we settled for the basics. Clothes, socks, underwear, pj's things that would keep them warm vs distract them. We spent a little money and bought them MP3 players... not the Ipods but they will do the job.
I found myself apologizing to them Xmas day. I am sorry we couldn't do better. I am sorry we are broke. Tom said to me "What are you doing?" I said "I didn't know." The kids then started pointing out to me what the year had brought them. Kevin two knees scopes, both received new beds, there was the triple insurance bill added to our month debts, Chris is legally driving, Kevin on his learners. They have access to a car. They told me that what they got for Xmas was awesome.. and it really was enough. That just spending time together as a family was good. Imagine.. teenagers "WANTING" to spend time with you!!!! My jaw hit the ground... and I realized my kids are indeed growing up.
So I stopped feeling bad.. got up went in and spent the day making the meal for that night. I went to bed exhausted but at the same time feeling good about the way my kids view the holidays and their expectations as well.
You've got good boys, Kat. For them to see what you've provided over the year is a testament to their maturity.
When I was a teen, all I ever wanted was clothes or maybe a record album (!).
I kept telling Troy that we don't need to outdo ourselves every year - or when does it ever stop? Troy just remembers Christmas as one of the really happy times from his childhood - and that excess was the name of the game.
As the boys get older, it is harder to buy for them. They just don't play with toys that much anymore, so then it's straight to electronics and that's where it gets expensive.
We shouldn't have to apologize to our kids...they have everything they need, and more. Thanks for your comment.
Hi Dan!!!! Lowered expectations - that's what we all need, hehehe.
Way to go on getting the ring. What a thoughtful thing. I know the letdown for sure. I think it's part of the magic of Christmas. The contrast of emotions. Everything's right on the edge.
Wend- This should be published. You hit it right on the head. I think we all feel this way.
My letdown is having to clean the house....
me too! cleaning the house is just this horrible task. You clean it... and five min. later it needs to be cleaned again. The job is never done!
"Face it, the older you get, does anything really live up to the hype?"
Brilliant.
Sad.
But true.
Coming of age is so hard. But it's truly a prep course for things to come.
Thanks, CW. My husband was a little offended that I grouped wedding night into life's big disappointments.
This has been a learning experience for me as well - I've gotta try to make it less about the presents.
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