Mama wanted an explanation.
Cam quickly placed blame on the substitute he had nearly the whole week while his teacher was in a training.
"She only gave us like 10 minutes a day to do this packet! It's not fair! She doesn't know how much time our work takes."
I was skeptical - substitute or not, this was a ton of homework. On the other hand, Cam's teacher assured me at the last parent/teacher that he always got his classwork done and he's a good student. So what was up?
He plowed through the homework - reading, report, math, and then he tackled the packet - all 15 pages of it. Some of it was busy work - crossword puzzles and word searches(these were already done), some grammar and sentence correcting and then a few pages heavy on the math. It took him until 11:30 at night to finish everything. I stayed up and offered moral support, encouragement, and agreement that the substitute was lame.
The next day, the last day before tracking off, I popped in to see his teacher and to ask if other kids had trouble finishing their work with the sub. I love that I work at the school. Cam? Probably not loving it so much. He knew the jig was up the second I walked into his classroom.
Cam, it turns out, hadn't been using his time wisely in class. The packet that the sub hadn't given them enough time to work on? Yeah, he'd had that for six weeks. Six. Weeks.
I quietly let Cam know that I was on to him, that I was ticked about staying up late when he'd had weeks to work on it. We'd talk about it after school.
I went home and stewed about it, literally simmering all the facts together and figuring out how to best approach this situation. I told Troy about it, and if I was irritated, Troy was downright angry. We couldn't get over the idea that Cameron has been lying to us. Lying.
Every day, I ask him if he has homework, and everyday he says "nope, just reading".
Lying.
Now Cam has a pretty sweet life, in my opinion. He plays with friends and has numerous late nights (the alternative to sleepovers), he has a cell phone and is starting to enjoy the freedoms that come with being 11. He's happy, helpful, agreeable, and we've never had a reason to worry about him until now.
Lying is huge - if he lies about one thing (um...homework for instance), how will we trust him about anything else?
He says he's going to a friend's house and that the parents are home...what if they aren't?
He says they're going to the park to play football...what if they go someplace else that I wouldn't have allowed?
He says he and his friends jump on trampolines and ride bikes and play xbox...but what if their afternoons are spent with cigarettes, booze and dancing girls who offer them drugs???????????
Okay, so it's easy to get carried away. But still...
I realize that Cam's lie was more of a lie of omission - he simply wasn't telling whole truth. He didn't bring his homework home, therefore he had no homework. The sub probably did only give them a short time to work on it, he just neglected to tell me that he's known about it for weeks. If I hadn't investigated, I would never have known, the homework got done...who was hurt by the little half-truth?
But if he gets away with the half-truths, will he start experimenting with the real deal lies? Like the whopper we admitted to?
Gaaaah -- this parenting thing is HARD!
By the time Cam got home I was ready to
So I talked and talked and talked and talked to Cam. He insisted that he wasn't lying, he just kept forgetting to tell us/bring it home.
"So seriously, Cameron," I said, pecking at the subject some more ('cause that's what Mother Hens do), "even when I asked you every single day if you had homework, a lightbulb never went on and you thought "oh yeah, I guess I do!" "
"I just get out of school and talking about other stuff and I get busy and I forget. It wasn't a lie, I promise."
"But you understand how it seems like a lie to your Dad and me, right?"
"I don't lie." He was emphatic, "I'm just...I'm just irresponsible!"
I had to turn away so he wouldn't see me clapping my hand over my mouth. What do you say to that?
He was so sincere, I didn't have the heart to launch into my "you will be responsible" speech.
For what it's worth, I think Cam is responsible, an honest, great kid - we're chalking this up to Spring Fever, being 11 and testing some limits, a little parental freak out, and hey, who doesn't procrastinate or put things on the back burner every once in a while? He just got caught...and mainly because I'm nosy and work at the school. Poor kid.
But back to the lying...
Did you ever lie to your parents or have your kids ever lied to you?
8 comments:
We've had kids lie about homework. They use the "I don't have any homework" line, and we later find out that they do. (They ALWAYS have homework. Like we're going to believe that they don't?)
We have finally just resorted to just e mailing the teachers occasionally to see if they are current on their homework and class assignments. (This only works if the teacher will use email. We had a teacher last year who REFUSED to email. I think she didn't know how to use the computer.)
You got off easy only staying up until 11:30. I have been up until 4:00 a.m. making a child finish their homework. I tried to make it a miserable enough experience that he would remember it and finish the project sooner the next time.
As for me lying to the kids? I once told my son that zuchinni tasted like chocolate.
Scarred him for life, I did.
LOL! I guess with the right recipe for Chocolate Zuchinni Bread...
Great story!
When Kellie was in the first grade she would put all of her homework in her desk, because if she didn't bring it home then she didn't have to do it. She soon found out that it was very easy for Mom to check up on her and hiding homework stopped quickly.
Russ would stuff his homework in the drain pipe on the way home from school. His was never done. I think he even hid it from me when he was in college.
To solve that problem in my classroom I just post the assignments on our web page. I love the internet!
I recall lying to my kids when I called on the cell phone to check on them and told them I was still in Utah county, despite the fact I was three blocks from home and closing in fast. I wanted to see if my #1 rule of no friends in the house when we are not home was being broken. It was... can you say busted!!!!!
On occasion we ask the kids if they have something to tell us, just to see what kind of reaction we get. If we get the "Panic Deer in headlight look" We probe a little deeper. They are trying to over ride the parent lie detector sensor.. they sux at it to..to this day.
In fact, a couple of weeks ago Chris went to a friend's house on one of the nights he had school. I had his brother call him and tell him he needed to go to school or else. Tom and I were on our way home from work and couldn't relay the message ourselves. Later that evening I suggested to Tom maybe we should go drive by the friend's house and be sure he went. Tom didn't. Saying I was being bad and mean all in one. Well when Chris got home later my motherly mischief sense were tingling. I asked "Soooo, how was school?" "Good." he says." "Really??? Are you sure?"
"Of course it was, why do you ask?"
My response "Well it just so happens I sent your Dad by your friend's house and guess what he came home to tell me?"
Any guess on the response?
That is right "DEER IN THE HEADLIGHT LOOK" "Can you say BUSTED" I asked. My kids hate it when I trick them into ratting on themselves. We also actually did drive by the friend's house the next time just to make sure there were no repeat offensives. We were hoping threats of removing the keys to the car was enough to keep him on the straight and narrow.
Kevin once asked me how I knew when they were being bad. I said "Hon there is nothing you are doing that I haven't done first and got away better then you. So give it up." Ok so maybe I lied a little on that one to =) So I guess you can say My lies are out of love and concern for my children's well being...or maybe not. *snicker*
Our son Nicolas is 14. When he was 2 or so, he lied a lot. One day I told him I knew when he wasn't being honest because his hair would stick up on top. (Who's the liar?) A few days later I asked him something and as he answered, he touched the top of his head. I laughed and asked if he was telling the truth and he said NO.
This trick worked for about a year.
I'm loving this! Homework in the drainpipe, tricking kids...awesome.
to be honest (hee hee), I lied to my parents when I was young. I'm not proud. but I turned out okay so I think there's hope! :-)
Emily is the queen of "I don't have homework" And she usually means "everything's done for tomorrow, I'm just leaving out the part about the assignment due Friday and the project due next week"
Luckily, the school has a website where I can find out about those "other" assignments. When I bring them up she'll say, "oh, they're not due till next week." However, I've spent too many nights up late because she "forgot" about it until 9pm the night before it's due.
Long story short, since I know about these assignments, she has a choice--get a head start on them during homework time or start on the list of household chores until the other kids are through with their homework (no, you may not play video games until the others are done). She usually opts for the homework!
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